And That's the Way the Cookie Crumbles

And that’s the way the cookie crumbles. Baking is not forgiving when you mess up. Too much butter; the cookie spreads too much. Forget the baking soda; the cookie becomes rock hard. Replace whole wheat flour for all-purpose flour, and the taste will be entirely different. Even if you follow the recipe to a T, the cookie could still turn out differently than you expected. But when the ingredients work, oh man, it’s harmonious. You take a bite, the texture is melt in your mouth perfect, and the taste is balanced and cohesive.

It’s interesting though, the best-selling cookie at a favorite bakery of mine is the compost cookie. It’s not simple, it’s actually rather unusual, and really shouldn’t work. It has chocolate chips, butterscotch pieces, oats, raisins, pretzels, potato chips, and coffee grounds. In theory those ingredients don’t seem like a very good tasting cookie, but once you try it, you’ll understand it. In one bite, it’s clear that these ingredients are doing something different.

Doing something differently . . . we are witness to this in today’s reading from Corinthians. Imagine the city of Corinth. It was a hustling and bustling port city, an epicenter of wealth and materialism, and now home to a new church. Just like any church today, it seems to be in the midst of disagreements and dissention. Particularly amongst its members fighting over the hierarchy of spiritual gifts. At first glance this fight can be mistaken for a petty argument, but there is a deeper misunderstanding here. These individuals were not just fighting over whose spiritual gift was better than the other’s, but claiming that whoever had the greatest spiritual gift was given a place of honor and prestige within the community and later in heaven.

Don’t get me wrong, we need to recognize the differences between our spiritual gifts and live into those gifts. But the deeper misunderstanding is my lack of recognition that I don’t need the rest of the community. When in reality, I am nothing without the community. When we lose sight of this, we begin to build up only ourselves becoming prideful, arrogant, and forgetting to show each other mercy. This is where the cookie crumbles. Walter Brueggemann’s definition of mercy captures how we should be acting differently when he said, “Mercy is the capacity to give one’s self away for the sake of the neighborhood.” “To give one’s self away for the sake for the neighborhood”, what does that truly look like?

Well let’s go back to the compost cookie. It’s not simply the fact that the recipe works, but it’s how the cookie itself is greater than the sum of its parts. Each ingredient is unique, and serves in a particular role to make the cookie come together. The ingredients don’t realize it, but individually they really aren’t all that great alone. Alone, flour tastes disgusting. It needs the sugar and the butter to be worth eating. Alone vanilla extract tastes awful, but when incorporated into the rest of the dough the flavor contributes to the overall sweetness of the cookie. If we surrender the idea that we are only individual ingredients sitting in a bowl, and begin to act differently by sharing in mercy and compassion with one another; this is when we move towards being a cohesive cookie.

This is acting differently. Our American culture encourages individualistic behaviors. Giving honor to whoever is number one. And it’s when we let those feelings of pride or arrogance or narcissism control us, that we stay self-centered. Yes, God created each of us uniquely individual. And we are called to discern and harness those unique spiritual gifts. And live the best we can into who God calls us to be. But all the while, we must recognize how our spiritual gift is a part of, and effects the larger community, and be willing to share it with the rest of the community.

Because to live fully into the life God wants for me, I can’t do it alone.

When we live above our pride, arrogance, and narcissism; we can stop fighting over whose spiritual gift is greater than another’s. Mercy reminds us that the only way to move forward is when we recognize our need for each other, and begin to come together. Yes, God blessed us with uniqueness to differentiate us, and it’s the journey to follow Christ that makes us one cohesive body.
My prayer is for us to live into the way God uniquely made us with love, compassion, and mercy. Whatever part of the body you may be, let’s do our best to live into it, but all the while discerning how my part effects the rest of the body. Otherwise, the cookie crumbles.

When we begin to understand that we are a part of something greater than ourselves, and live into the unity of our holy baker God; then we are truly acting differently as beautiful cohesive cookie.

For What?!

“There will be signs in the sun, the moon, and the stars, and on the earth distress among nations confused by the roaring of the sea and the waves; people will faint from fear and foreboding of what is coming upon the world”.

Well that reading was unexpected for the first Sunday of Advent, but there’s nothing like a little apocalyptic scripture to get the heart going right?

As we heard last week from Kirsten, Advent is meant to be a season of preparation, and yet we are listening to scripture describing the end of the world. Interesting, maybe if we put this into a more current context we might hear something different.

So let’s try this again;

There will be twinkle lights in the windows, specials on television, and extended hours in department stores. There will be distress amongst shoppers unable to think straight due to the deafening holiday music. People will shed blood while fighting over the latest gadget, and faint from standing hours in checkout lines. All the while foreboding the debt they will put on their credit cards, as well as avidly avoid the red kettles placed conveniently outside every store. Now when these things begin to take place, it is clear that Christmas is coming.

This breaks my heart.

The madness during this holiday season can feel like the apocalypse is actually upon us. And there’s really no way to avoid it, I am swept up into the craziness every year. The preparation we fall into looks like striving to impress others by purchasing the latest technology. Buying more gizmos because the sales are too good to pass up. Stores staying open later, pushing employees to work excessive hours and passed their breaking point.



We begin to feel weighed down by the pressure to over consume. We devote more time to worrying, and the tension grows as we try to live up to these insane expectations we have made.  Ultimately, creating a culture of stress and anxiety where we want to stay away from one another.

This is preparing, but for what? To “win” Christmas? Is that what we’re meant to prepare for?

I don’t think so, but there is good news here.

In the midst of this apocalyptic like culture, there’s a hidden beauty. A beauty only revealed out of the destruction of the old, allowing for the new to blossom. But it’s when we prepare differently, when we catch a glimpse of it.

In the gospel, Jesus alludes to this idea when he talks about the fig tree. He says, “Look at the fig tree and all the trees; as soon as they sprout leaves you can see for yourselves and know that summer is already near”. It’s a little cryptic, but let’s put the parable into Jesus’ context. He knows his death is near. So he is trying to express to his disciples that he won’t be with them much longer, and that the world will feel desolate and dreary when he’s gone. He is also trying to convey that he will be coming again, and it will be joyous! And that there will be signs indicating this. But only if the disciples are LOOKING for them will they know the joy in the midst of this hopelessness.

Therein lies the beauty of the fig tree parable, in the LOOKING. This isn’t just looking to merely see, but actively noticing. It’s a different form of preparation.

Ellen Langer, a social psychologist, defines this idea brilliantly. She says “the simple act of actively noticing things” is mindfulness. Jesus wants his disciples to do more than just LOOK at the fig tree, but to be mindful. To be actively noticing the little green buds of his return around them.

Because it can be discouraging to stare at a brittle, bare fig tree day after day, and see nothing new. But if we know we are actively looking for that little green bud to appear; then when it reveals itself, it evokes the glory of the fig tree to come. A strong, sturdy tree with branches full of lush green leaves, providing delicious fruit. It’s the glimpse of beauty of a new world to come.

So amidst the apocalyptic dreariness this season holds, if we are mindful, we will notice the beautiful bright buds revealing the beauty of Jesus’ return. We notice families coming together to spend more time with each other. We notice people donating hats and gloves to shelters so others can stay warm. We notice increased efforts to prepare food to sustain those without.

We give gifts, but not merely toys, but the gift of ourselves to others. Each of these moments are the little buds, reflecting the unconditional love Christ. It’s in these moments we are preparing for his coming again.

Although the world around us may look like it is coming to an end, when we prepare by being mindful to those little buds of unconditional love in our midst; we witness a glimpse of that beautiful glory of that life to come.

Where are those White Gloves?

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Where are those white gloves? I know I hid them last week so the altar guild wouldn’t get a hold of them. I can’t go on without them, what if I don’t find them before the service? There’s no point in acolyting without those white gloves.

Thankfully those are not the current thoughts of your seminarian, but as embarrassed as I am to admit it, those were my thoughts as 12 year old acolyte.  I loved acolyting, and still do, but I was fixated on ensuring everything was perfect.  I was so obsessed with using those white gloves that I ignored everything else around me, so much so that I treated the altar guild like second class citizens.

A little scary right, but that was how I served the church that was my focus.  And this sort of behavior is totally natural. Whenever we have an interest in something, we want to read, experience, and learn everything about it. We become so consumed by it that we begin to lose sight of the bigger picture.

Unfortunately this isn’t a new phenomenon, we witness the same sort of behavior in our gospel story today.  There’s Jesus surrounded by a huge crowd; some disciples and others simply interested in figuring out who this Jesus fellow is. Regardless, everyone is straining to catch a glimpse and to hear his words.

And then there’s Bartimaeus; the blind beggar calling out to Jesus, “son of David, have mercy on me”, which made the crowd angry. So angry that they sternly ordered him to stop making such noise.  Essentially conveying the message that he is ruining their experience, and that they don’t care what Bartimaeus has to say.

And we can’t blame them, right? They are fixated, obsessed with trying to listen and learn about Jesus.  The catch is Bartimaeus already knows Jesus is the Messiah, and because the crowd has become so focused on themselves they write off the individual who truly reflects the faith in Christ.

Just like focusing on those white gloves, I missed the bigger picture of acolyting, which is to lead worship; not whether I use white gloves or not.

But the story’s not over.  We continue on and hear of the miracle of restoring Bartimaeus’ sight, but right before that moment another miracle occurs.

Jesus yells out to the crowd to call Bartimaeus forward, and suddenly the hearts of the crowd were turned. From cold and discouraging; treating Bartimaeus like dirt to encouraging and lifting him towards Jesus.

Right there, that’s the hidden miracle.

The crowds’ hearts were shaken and reoriented to thinking outside of themselves. They are no longer fixating on them alone, but how Jesus truly calls us to act towards one another with compassion.  And this isn’t simply a miracle because Jesus snaps his fingers, but because the crowd is listening, looking, and yearning to learn how to follow Jesus.  Their hearts are open and they want to change. So when they were given the opportunity to follow Jesus they took it.

In the depths of the details it’s easy to get lost, but white gloves or no white gloves the service went on. Christ will offer the opportunity to see the bigger picture.

The question is are we looking for it?

To Continue to the Space Shuttle or Stay?

I’m walking across the moon’s landscape, and suddenly there’s a large quake. The first mate and I have been separated from the rest of the crew. The first mate’s legs are broken, and our air supply is running extremely low.

Stop.

Choose to either: leave the first mate behind and continue walking to the space shuttle, or choose to stay and attempt a reconstruction of the air tanks to be more efficient.  Um . . . continue to the shuttle, now turn to page 52. What, I died! Do over, stay and reconstruct the air tanks, now turn to page 42, and the story continues.

This was a common occurrence in my childhood, no I wasn’t physically walking on the moon. In elementary school, I was constantly reading the “Choose Your Own Adventure” books.  Each story was structured the same way, a few pages into the adventure the plot made you choose a particular direction or made you complete a task in order to travel a different path.  Many times I wasn’t able to complete the task, thus a path was chosen for me. Other times, I would start down one path and the story would abruptly be considered “over”, but I only read a quarter of the book. So I would go back, chose the other direction, and continue on a totally different path.

What if this were the reality for us? For instance, deciding to order a gigantic stuffed crust supreme pizza consuming the whole thing alone and then suffering from indigestion, but instead we could turn back a few pages take the other option and order the salad instead.  We could start down a path, suddenly foresee the issues ahead, turn back and choose the other direction.

Sometimes we can do that, the trouble is some choices, no matter how much we want to take them back, we can’t.

We witness that unfortunate sort of choice in the gospel reading today. Let’s look at the details of making that sort of decision.  King Herod was throwing huge banquet for his birthday and of course he only invited the most prestigious political and socially influential figures to attend. These weren’t like Kardashian sort of popular figures, but major influential elite that King Herod desperately wanted to impress.

To complicate the situation, King Herod was becoming more and more interested in the preaching and teachings of John the Baptist. John was a usual guy compared to the rest of society, especially compared to King Herod’s dinner guests.  He was living in the wilderness using camel’s hair for clothing, eating locusts for protein, and preaching a message that all should repent because the Messiah, the savior of the world, was coming. His message was totally different from the popular elite figures.  King Herod saw that and respected that John was a holy and righteous individual, so he wanted to keep him around.

On the other hand King Herod’s wife/mistress hated John the Baptist, so she was plotting to kill him any way she could. And finally a top priority for King Herod was always the conquest for more power.  Now after a few hours into this wild party, all these influences converged. When given the decision to either save John the Baptist or behead him, it was mostly influenced by the pressure of wanting to impress fellow guests, a vindictive wife, the quest for more power, the interesting teachings of John the Baptist, and of course booze. With all these influences weighing on him, no wonder he made a bad choice.

But what if this story was a “Choose Your Own Adventure” story? Let’s imagine turning back the pages of this story, and deciding to go the other path King Herod could have traveled. What would that have looked like?  What if King Herod listened more to John the Baptist, and less to the elite?

Perhaps in this day and age, we aren’t presented with the extreme decision to behead anyone, but we are still influenced by those same distractions money, power, society, and more.  But we have the choice to see beyond those things, we can choose the other path, when we choose to listen.  God was working through John the Baptist to spread the news that the Messiah was coming, but King Herod wasn’t choosing to listen to that message.

In our own lives, we have people or opportunities where God’s voice is clearly influencing us. God is always working within us and around us to walk the other path.  Where I come up short is in having to shut out the other distractions and allowing myself the time to listen for it.  But the brilliance in all of this is even when we’re not listening hard or I am ignoring God’s works around me, within all of us, God’s grace is working harder than ever.

It’s terrifying to turn the page after making a decision. Not knowing what’s going to happen next in our own “Choose Your Own Adventure” story is tough. The exciting part is knowing God is there through every step of the way, no matter which adventure we choose.

Are We Gettin Dis?

All I could think about were the mixed reviews of the course. Some praised it for being brilliant and inspiring, while others said the philosophy was difficult to grasp and the professor. Well, he was even harder to understand. Suddenly, in strolls a man about 5’ 9”, wearing khaki pants, a shirt made from traditional African cloth, and dawning a big smile. It could only be Professor Nlandu.

If I remember correctly, he is from Nigeria. As he starts to speak, you can hear his thick accent, “Are we here to study African Philosophy or Philosophy of Africa? Is there a difference?” He looks at all of us, and I stare blankly back at him. He continues “Are we getting dis?” My mind screamed “NO! I hadn't even thought of that question". He scanned over the class and began his lecture describing the difference between the philosophies.

Throughout the lecture, he would interrupt himself and ask, "Are we getting dis?" He asked this question so often, it was almost like a tick. But in reality this question actually served two purposes; The first, it provided the opportunity for student’s to ask questions for clarification on a topic. The second, it revealed his compassion for his students. As a professor he wanted us to truly learn and understand the materials he teaching. Because if we didn't, we could fail. And there isn't a teacher out there, who wants their students to fail. He honestly cared for us, and wanted to make sure we were “getting dis”.

That question must be a reflection upon a really good teacher because we hear Jesus utter similar words in the gospel reading. After telling five different parables, Jesus asks the crowd in front of him, “Have you understood all this?” The crowd responds with a resounding, “YES”. But my question for us today is, is that our answer?

"Are we getting dis?"

Each parable is about a seemingly ordinary object. Each so normal that one could ask, “How do these stories possibly reflect the kingdom of God?” Well let’s put these parables into context beginning with the mustard seed. The mustard seed was used as a common comparison in Jewish culture. They frequently saw a that tiny seed grow into a large tree that would encompass an entire garden. So Jesus used the common mustard seed in his parable to convey the truth of the extraordinary growth of the Kingdom of God. It takes merely a mustard seed of faith to start the spread of the Kingdom of Heaven.

"Are we getting dis?"

Now the yeast, it was typical in Jewish culture for women to use yeast everyday to make bread for their households. But surprisingly, yeast actually has a negative, even evil, connotation in Jewish culture. This is why they don't use it during Passover, and eat Matze, a bread made without yeast, instead. In the parable Jesus chose yeast to convey a different, more shocking truth. We may witness evil in the world, and awful things will happen, but the Kingdom of God will still prevail.

"Are we getting dis?"

Following the yeast, we hear about a man finding treasure in a field. A little strange, but in those times in Jewish culture people would bury their money in order to keep it safe rather than in a bank. Jesus reveals that the Kingdom of God may not be so easy to find. When we think we see it on the surface, but aren't finding anything, we will have to dig deeper. Because the Kingdom of God can be uncovered in the most hidden of places.

“Are we getting dis?”

Then we hear about a man selling everything to purchase a pearl. Pearls were not only loved for their monetary value, but also for their rare beauty. So if an individual came across a pearl it was worth selling everything to own it in order to possess it forever. What does Jesus want to convey here? The Kingdom of Heaven is so lovely and fine as pearl that it is worth doing all we can to possess the Kingdom of God here on earth.

“Are we getting dis?”

And finally the fishermen and their nets. Jesus knows there are fishermen among the crowd. So he knows they understand that every time the cast out their net, they want to capture as many fish as possible. In doing this they cannot discriminate about what they are catching because they just want to catch as many fish as possible. So what does mean for us? Jesus calls us to throw out our nets to catch as many people as we can to share with the love of God.

“Are we getting this?”

These are still very ordinary everyday examples. And that’s the point, Jesus, like any loving teacher, uses these examples so we can understand his parables. What we witness within our everyday lives is not actually so ordinary. They are actually extraordinary pieces of the kingdom of God.

It may be as small as mustard seed, and found in very unusual places, or even evil places. And it won’t always be on the surface level, but it is worth investing our entire lives to find it and make it our reality. We are called to be fishers of all people to bring them to this table, and show all people God's love.

“Are we getting dis?”

America . . . the land of the RED TAPE!!!

America, the home of the free, the brave, and all the red tape! You know the infamous red tape that restricts us from doing exactly what we want, when we want to. And the worst part about it is, red tape is everywhere.  No matter what you want to do, there will be some form of red tape to stop you, but perhaps you think you can maneuver around it, not so fast! As soon as you’ve cut a few pieces, another wall of red tape stands directly behind those.

All this red tape may feel like a new world problem, unfortunately it’s not. And actually compared to the red tape in the past, I feel pretty lucky for the red tape we experience today. During Jesus’ time, the red tape for Jewish individuals was particularly dense.

It is referred to in the Gospel passage when we hear the line, “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens,” These heavy burdens not only refer to problems we deal with in everyday life, but also the Jewish law which was an awful burden of red tape.

While researching, I came across an example of this really dense red tape situation. It talked about a Jewish woman who was widowed and had inherited land, which she decided to use as a farm.  She began to plow the land, BOOM the red tape. She had to stop plowing because Jewish law did not permit the use an ox and a donkey together to pull a plow.  Alright then she began to seed the land, BOOM more red tape. She wasn't allowed to seed her land with mixed seed.  She had enough, so she sold the land. With that money, she purchased some sheep in order to sell their fleece, and their young. When it came time to shear the sheep, more red tape. The first lamb was born, more red tape.  The woman decided to give up, and slaughtered the sheep for herself to eat not to sell, and even then more red tape. The Jewish law took everything, so she was left with nothing.

So what was the point of all those Jewish rules and regulations? Like our red tape today, it was to ensure that people didn't stray too far from righteous the path. And in Jewish culture, these laws were intended to make all individuals stay devoted to God.  It was believed if they were following all the right rules, all the time, they couldn’t make God angry. Essentially the thought was if we don’t make God angry, then we will stay in good favor with God, and we will live a good and prosperous life.

But the red tape that was supposed to keep Jewish individuals devoted to God, began to become the focus of their lives rather than God.

Ultimately, I can relate to this red tape situation, not only running into it all the time, but having my focus become the red tape.  I think we have all been in a place where we try following all the right rules, we expect good results, and yet still not succeeding. Which eventually leads us to just having to shut down.  Especially if we try to go about this world on our own. No wonder the woman just gave up. She must have felt overwhelmed trying to handle all the red tape by herself.

But what other choice did she have, I mean she was only a widow. What was she supposed to do against all the red tape of the law?  Perhaps, just take a pair of scissors, and cut through it all. Okay she can’t just use any pair of scissors, she needed to use a pair of Jesus scissors. But where to find them?

Well let's look at that line of scripture again, “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, I will give you rest.” The line “I will give you rest.” This is where I interpret essentially Jesus taking a pair of scissors and cut through all that red tape.  Basically stating to the Jewish individuals, by starting to follow Christ, you can stop focusing on all the rules, and begin to focus on God.

Jesus was saying because we have a gracious God, and we don't have to worry about getting all the rules right because if we did, our focus would no longer be on God.  And when we begin to focus our lives around what God is calling us to do, our burdens begin to lighten. When he says, “Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me . . . for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  He is referring to when two oxen are yoked, or tied together in order to pull a cart. It is easier for two rather than one. They don’t only become lighter because Jesus cut away the red tape rules, but because Christ shares in our burdens.

When we act tied to Christ's teachings, our focus is not on following all the rules, but simply to follow Christ's teachings to direct us down the right path.  I must admit though, there are a few pieces of red tape Jesus did not cut. But unlike the red tape that we deal with on a regular basis, this red tape really focuses our attention on where and who we should be serving.

One piece is to love God and the second piece is to love our neighbors as ourselves, and unlike the other red tape, these pieces should never be cut.

How Loyal Are You to Your Toothpaste?

It’s overwhelming, trying to pick the right toothpaste. I stand in the dental hygiene aisle, and in front of me is a wall of 100 different toothpastes. But which one do I want, Colgate, Aquafresh, Crest, and then there's always generic? As I stand there trying to decide, someone will normally stroll by and grab their box of toothpaste off the shelf and continue on their way, as if it wasn’t a hard decision.

Perhaps it wasn’t such a hard decision because it is the same toothpaste they have been buying for years. In my marketing classes, the people that buy the same product regardless of sales and such, are what marketers call brand loyalists. And these are exactly the people you want to be buying your product.

Brand loyalists aren’t going to be swayed by new promotions from other brands because they are dedicated to their brand of toothpaste. It is a part of who they are, they identify with it. Ask them, “Would you ever buy anything else?” And I bet they would respond, “By no means!”

Wait a minute, isn’t that the phrase we heard earlier in Paul’s letter to the Romans. Before I try to connect these phrases together, I want you to understand how I understand Paul's letters.

Most times, I find these letters are always trying to clarify and redirect new Christians and experienced Christians on how we should be acting and serving others as followers of Christ.

Paul is sort of like a brand manager for the Christian faith.

So imagine this letter from Paul to the Romans this morning as response to his brand. In his letter, Paul is responding to a somewhat smartalic question about the Christian faith, “Should we continue in sin in order that grace may abound?” It looks as if the Roman individual who posed this question in the first place has found a little loophole in the system. Their thought is why not increase our sinning nature, so that more of God’s grace will abound.

They understand that God’s grace will always prevail over sin, so why stop sinning. The reality is we are human, we make mistakes, we will unfortunately hurt each other because we aren’t perfect.

Plus, this sounds a little sneaky right?

So how does Paul the brand manager respond to this question of sin, baptism. In Greek the word baptism means to go under or to put. Knowing this Paul purposely uses baptism to convey two purposes. The first purpose is to invoke a reminder of the physical act of baptism, which at the time was a full body submersion under water, which all Christians even today can relate to.

The second purpose is to highlight our faith in Christ. Through our faith alone, we share a unity with Christ to carry on his teachings and serve as Christ would. Through our commitment to faith in Christ we are to act as the body of Christ in this world. And baptism is to remind us and unite us to this dedication to love God and to serve others.

As Christians this is essentially our brand identity. Which explains Paul’s exclamation of “by no means!” should we increase our sin so God’s grace may abound. This would ruin our brand identity, and what we should actually striving for is to love more and serve more. With a good brand identity, always comes a strong brand loyalty. For me, there are two aspects to this particular brand loyalty. The first aspect is the loyalty we share to our brand. This is the same sort of loyalty concept like buying same toothpaste for years.

If we individually aren’t trying to stay loyal and attempting to act like Christ figures in this world, then we aren’t keeping up our own brand identity, which means we won’t have any brand loyalty. The second aspect to this loyalty is not only are we dedicated to keeping our brand identity, but we are also dedicated to keep loyalty to each other as brothers and sisters in Christ.

We all serve God in so many different ways. Which makes each of us a different part of the body of Christ. In different groups this differentiation can lead to separation and lack of unity. But as Christians we work hard against that problem because that’s not what we are called to do. We are called to work with each other, for each, in order to best serve others. Even though we are many parts, we continually strive to serve as one body of Christ.

Although we may not always succeed in loving or serving others, in our hearts we are assured that God’s grace is with us. And following Paul the brand manager’s advice, by no means should we ever increase our sinning because we would lose our brand identity.

Unlike toothpaste brand loyalty, our loyalty to Christ and each other, allows us to truly act as the one body of Christ creating an everlasting loyalty to ourselves and others.